Yesterday would have been my big sister’s 53rd birthday, but she’s been gone now for years. My cousin Kim posted a reminder this week, that one year ago her dad, uncle Harry passed away. The two events caused the return of a familiar thought; my world is surely changing. The world in which I had been reared, nurtured and become comfortable with was passing and a new and unfamiliar world was rising in its place. I try to suppress such thoughts, but I’m regularly reminded. Though I am not alone in this new world, it feels more lonely; a little colder.
As I thought about it, I realized that I prefer the passing world to the new. I don’t look forward to a world without Aunt Juanita, Cheryl, Uncle Harry, Larry, and the many others who won’t be with me any longer. The world was better with them. It was warmer. There was more laughter.
This may be just nostalgia, but it feels like more than that. It’s not just a yearning for simpler times. It’s a sobering realization that so much of what I have identified with as integral to my life has changed and not for the better. This world will go on and so will I, but it will be different, and I guess, so will I.
Just as I was nearly overcome with grief, this wonderful Puritan prayer came to mind, from The Valley of Vision. This time, as a read, it had more meaning.
A mighty God, who amidst the lapse of worlds, and the revolutions of empires,
feels no variableness, but is glorious in immortality.
Though my world has lapsed, my God has not. My world has changed but the Lord has remained, and He is the same. He is my one constant, my source of comfort and stability. I still prefer the old world, the Lord was there too, but as the new and unfamiliar world emerges, it sends me back to the Rock of Ages and the Ancient of Days. Without Him I would lose my way. And as everything changes around me, I get an even clearer picture of the glory of His immortality.